Quirky Gardeners Gifts

Mohawk grass cutting

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Industrial Beautification van

Planting Bird Seed.

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

Football fan

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

Clown watering his flowers.

"The cat was there."

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

Man with a sunflower head watering flowers with human faces.

The Golfer Gardener

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

"Next time I'm feeling low remind me how silly asparagi look while they grow."

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof!! When you die, may I hang you up in my garden for the blue tits..?"

Pumpkin

'Don't listen to anyone. I think you're beautiful...even if you are a weed.'

Desert Island

'Man with birds nesting in hair.'

'Lawn circles just don't have the same impact.'

'Yes of course he can borrow my lawn mower just as long as he only uses it in my garden...'

Strimmer (weed whacker) starts to lift off.