Quirky Gardeners Gifts

Mohawk grass cutting

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Planting Bird Seed.

Industrial Beautification van

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

"The cat was there."

Football fan

Clown watering his flowers.

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

Man with a sunflower head watering flowers with human faces.

The Golfer Gardener

Redneck Flowerpot

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

'Don't listen to anyone. I think you're beautiful...even if you are a weed.'

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof!! When you die, may I hang you up in my garden for the blue tits..?"

Why is he always fooling around with plants? He wants to be a robotanist! (Published originally on August 26, 2015.)

Desert Island

'Yes of course he can borrow my lawn mower just as long as he only uses it in my garden...'

"Next time I'm feeling low remind me how silly asparagi look while they grow."

'Man with birds nesting in hair.'

'Lawn circles just don't have the same impact.'

Pumpkin