Quirky Garden Owner Gifts

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

Beware of the Lawn

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

Planting Bird Seed.

Industrial Beautification van

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

"I can't believe I went so long without A.C."

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'He missed a 5-foot putt for eagle last year, so he had an exact replica of the green build into the yard.'

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

"The cat was there."

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

Clown watering his flowers.

Football fan

Mr. Potato Head raking up leaves.

Man with a sunflower head watering flowers with human faces.

The Golfer Gardener

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

Junk Mail Shredder.

Redneck Flowerpot