Quirky Landscaper Gifts

The world's first riding lawn mower.

Industrial Beautification van

"The cat was there."

Keep Off The Plastic Grass

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

The Music Seed

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

Planting Bird Seed.

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

"The latest news on the gardening fashion front is 'Ditch the decking'!"

"Here is your new planet."

Sophisticated garden - low maintenance garden

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

F&E Landscape Architects. Ground cover plants are the Peter Pan of landscape design. The never "grow up"!

Hedgecutter cutting a hedge 'key' into a hedge 'door'

"Charles! Enough with the mulch!"

Football fan

Clown watering his flowers.

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

Women look out at overgrown garden as man reads sports section. Wife says: 'He reckons he can't mow it as he's turned it into a wildlife reserve.'

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

Man with a sunflower head watering flowers with human faces.

The Golfer Gardener

Redneck Flowerpot

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.