Quirky Landscaper Gifts

The world's first riding lawn mower.

Industrial Beautification van

"The cat was there."

Keep Off The Plastic Grass

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

The Music Seed

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

Planting Bird Seed.

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

"The latest news on the gardening fashion front is 'Ditch the decking'!"

Sophisticated garden - low maintenance garden

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

Clown watering his flowers.

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

"Charles! Enough with the mulch!"

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

Hedgecutter cutting a hedge 'key' into a hedge 'door'

Women look out at overgrown garden as man reads sports section. Wife says: 'He reckons he can't mow it as he's turned it into a wildlife reserve.'

Football fan

Man with a sunflower head watering flowers with human faces.

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

The Golfer Gardener

'Don't listen to anyone. I think you're beautiful...even if you are a weed.'

Desert Island

Pumpkin