Messy Landscaper Gifts

Women look out at overgrown garden as man reads sports section. Wife says: 'He reckons he can't mow it as he's turned it into a wildlife reserve.'

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

The Music Seed

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

Industrial Beautification van

"Jeepers, what happened to your power cord?"

Gone to seed.

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

Sophisticated garden - low maintenance garden

"The cat was there."

Hedgecutter cutting a hedge 'key' into a hedge 'door'

"Charles! Enough with the mulch!"

'My therapist suggested I redirect my anger into landscaping and gardening!'

'What am I doing? Well, I'd planned on going to the office and goofing off...then I remembered I'm retired.'

"What are you looking at?"

'Bugleweed makes a nice ground cover, and you don't have to set your alarm.'

The world's first riding lawn mower.

"$100? What are you doing ... fracking your own gas?"

'The gardener in him sold out to the nature-conservationist.'

'Oh no! It's the flying gardener.'

Leaf Blower Showdown.

'How's your garden?' - 'It's getting too much for me so I'm paving it.'

"This is your third cousin Hermina. She was a bad gardener, but she always had the best tomatoes!"

'Can't you take 'em down the recycle centre like everybody else?'

Keep Off The Plastic Grass

'And this is our geodesic gnome.'

"Did you forget to tell anyone to water the garden while we were away?"

Earthing Up

Lazy Gardeners

"The boss created paradise, he created us, why can't he create someone who can handle a lawnmower?!"

'Barry's turned his tunnel vision condition to his advantage.'