Quirky Garden Enthusiast Gifts

Redneck Flowerpot

The garden of Bedlam

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Williamsii Carnia

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof!! When you die, may I hang you up in my garden for the blue tits..?"

"It seems that a flower is just a weed in drag!"

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

Garden Goddess.

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

Bee flying to another flower.

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"I'm rooting for the carrots."

A gardener sowing flower seeds - and a cat sowing bird seed.

Cats and gardens.

Bonsai tree held up by matchstick

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Lawnmower

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I think I picked the wrong spot to plant that apple tree."

Et in Arcadia Ego

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

'Wait, this isn't Monet's garden, it's Mondrian's.'

'Do you mind!!?'

"The parasol certainly paid for itself this summer."

Ecology

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

'Remember, we're planting a tree, not burying a bone.'

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

"When I heard they legalized weeds, I wanted to be first on the block to let my lawn go."