Quirky Garden Owner T-Shirts

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Beware of the Lawn

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

Industrial Beautification van

Planting Bird Seed.

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

"I can't believe I went so long without A.C."

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

Clown watering his flowers.

"The cat was there."

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

Football fan

Man with a sunflower head watering flowers with human faces.

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.

The Golfer Gardener

Junk Mail Shredder.

'Man with birds nesting in hair.'