Quirky Garden Innovator Gifts

The Golfer Gardener

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Okay, dig that one up!

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

Bird Bath.

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

Planting Bird Seed.

Industrial Beautification van

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

'this is the only place where no one is fooling around with the genes.'

Farmer planting the next crop of PC's.

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

"The latest news on the gardening fashion front is 'Ditch the decking'!"

'Doreen's been all over me to paint the house...'

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

"So I can eat better here at work."

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

'Seeing the Winterton's Japanese garden gave us the idea. It's a Kamikaze replica. Full size.'

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

Clown watering his flowers.

Pyramid Garden

Football fan

'Sewer farm - 100% organic'