Funny Gardener Gifts

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

He mowed the lawn to Wagner.

Gardening for Beginners - 'Carnivorous plants don't like dog biscuits, I'm afraid!'

"I don't get it. Mom's stupid vegetables are growing but the gumdrops I secretly planted haven't done anything."

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

The Phantom Of The Garden

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Planting Bird Seed.

Paving over the window-box

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

Hydroponic Gardening

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"

"I can't believe I went so long without A.C."

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

'Every summer, dandelions can't wait to go topless!'

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

'Manure, you say? We always put custard on our rhubarb!'

Clown watering his flowers.

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

Mr. Potato Head raking up leaves.

Football fan

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

With my home genetic engineering kit, I've created massive, politically active vegetables. From the left, a giant carrot. From the right, big broccoli. It was an accident, but something feels right. Introducing Meet the Produce. Next topic: Trump. Losing. Winning.

Watering a plant in the rain.

Man with a sunflower head watering flowers with human faces.

Woman Planting Flowers in her Snow Covered Garden.