Satirical Gardener Gifts

Garden trolls

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

The Phantom Of The Garden

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

Man is injured transporting cacti.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Paving over the window-box

Hydroponic Gardening

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

God builds the first lawn mower.

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"

Crazy paving company.

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

'Manure, you say? We always put custard on our rhubarb!'