Garden Satirist Gifts

'Gardens are nothing but trouble. Ask Adam and Eve.'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

How life on Earth really got its start.

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"The Nominees"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

"I pose as a concerned citizen, but honestly I wouldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct."

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Man is injured transporting cacti.

'I'd invite you in but there's no room.'

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

Glimpses One Dollar

Another hot flash?

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Gardener digging and finding pipes.

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'It's only a slug Norman.'