Unexpected Garden Humorist Gifts

"It says here that they only grow in damp,shady locations."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

Man is injured transporting cacti.

Gardener digging and finding pipes.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'I ask you, Larry the Landscaper, did you ever, under any circumstances, promise anyone a rose garden?'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

Crazy paving company.

God builds the first lawn mower.

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

'Manure, you say? We always put custard on our rhubarb!'

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is McWit Construction actually finished a job on time.'