Gardening Comedian Gifts

'This is where I grow my prize-winning boobs and bums...'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Paving over the window-box

Man is injured transporting cacti.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

"I get aroused when I see you in leather."

Crazy paving company.

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

God builds the first lawn mower.

'Look what my son gave me!'

Avoid Constant Borrowing