Gardening Comedian Gifts

'This is where I grow my prize-winning boobs and bums...'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

Man is injured transporting cacti.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Paving over the window-box

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

Crazy paving company.

"I get aroused when I see you in leather."

God builds the first lawn mower.

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

Avoid Constant Borrowing

Beware Of The Gnome - Look dear how quaint.