Gardening Jokester Gifts

'I'm trying to increase my pocket money... Do you need some Guano to fertilize your garden, sir?'

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Man is injured transporting cacti.

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

Gardener digging and finding pipes.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

God builds the first lawn mower.

COWS: Spare cow

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

Crazy paving company.

'I love crocuses. They seem to defy the winter snow to let you know spring is coming.'

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

"You wanted me to mow all the grass?"