Plant Jokester Gifts

'I'm looking for a plant that's deaf. I don't have time to talk to it.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Do you think the birds like me?"

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

Gardener digging and finding pipes.

"If you have an emergency, use this pepper spray."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

COWS: Spare cow

'What kind of bulbs did you put in here?'

"I dread these W.I. meetings

'Is it my imagination, or has this suddenly become harder to push?'

"Aren't those dead flowers fake?"

'He's not here.He's out on a sting operation.'

Three Circles of Gardener's Hell.

Man shouting 'timberrrr!'

A Cactus warning His friends to put their branches up while a Human passes by.

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

Unfortunately what happens in the cow's digestional tract doesn't stay in the cow's digestional tract!

"That was a stupid place to put the lawn mowings."

Turkey with an ax to grind.

'How many vegetables died for your stupid salad?'

Bathing Flowers.

"I see you've laid out your garden."

'Fred, you're not getting taller, just fatter.'

"I don't care about the money. I just hate trees."

Skunk.'Watch it! He's getting ready to spray'

Cactus Hold Up

'You mean a vegan isn't the same thing as a witch?'

'It's an unsual way to fish I agree, but I've seen humans doing it...'