Garden Humorist Gifts

The only thing Fred hated more than weeds were weeds that made puns.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

Bad Flower Pick Up Lines

'Where am I going to bury my bone now that they put paving stones in?'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

Suddenly, cannibalism became the best option.

'Humph Punks!'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'So what's all this I hear about you installing an interesting water feature in your garden?'

"How about this round mouth shovel."

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Tish Marsh - Grow Your Own Wig Kit.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Leaf Blower Showdown.

'Our name is Leylandii and we're the neighbours from Hell!'

"It's the most beautiful flower in the world - needs protecting from birds though!

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that plant prefers sun.

"Let's go around the room and say one interesting fact about ourselves."

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'What am I doing? Well, I'd planned on going to the office and goofing off...then I remembered I'm retired.'

'Daddy,rusty's digging up the neighbour's back yard again!' (a dog digging a hole with an earth digger machine)/

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 14

"TO youthey're baby carrots, but to us wee folk, they're fully mature vegetables!"

Calling a spade a spade.

'Dear, I think the plants need watering.'

Trump Chia Pet

'Look what my son gave me!'

'Fishing garden gnome'

Snail on a cactus.

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

We're all tired, and besides, it wasn't funny the first time you said "I'm beet"!

"Don't do it! You've got so much to live for!"

Happy Garden. Wood Chips. I know, it's impossible to eat just one. Munch munch munch.

The bullies are in full bloom

"I'm allergic to the sun."