Humorist Gardener Gifts

'Someday, someone else will mow this lawn.'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

An Unexpected Guest.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Paving over the window-box

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

Man is injured transporting cacti.

Hydroponic Gardening

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

God builds the first lawn mower.

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

Crazy paving company.

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

'Manure, you say? We always put custard on our rhubarb!'