Humor-loving Gardener Gifts

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Man is injured transporting cacti.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

Hydroponic Gardening

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'I ask you, Larry the Landscaper, did you ever, under any circumstances, promise anyone a rose garden?'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

God builds the first lawn mower.

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

Crazy paving company.

"I can't believe I went so long without A.C."

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

'Manure, you say? We always put custard on our rhubarb!'

For the new gardener.