Gardening Humor Lover Gifts

Square Yard

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

Man is injured transporting cacti.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'I ask you, Larry the Landscaper, did you ever, under any circumstances, promise anyone a rose garden?'

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

God builds the first lawn mower.

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

Crazy paving company.

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

"I can't believe I went so long without A.C."

'Look what my son gave me!'

'Dear, I think the plants need watering.'

For the new gardener.

"Lift your stems."

'Okay dear, it's your turn to go stand in the front yard.'