Comedy Gardener Gifts

Grub-skewer sandals.

"This year I'm just planting the little signs."

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

Paving over the window-box

I've discovered green fingers are of little help if you've got bad breath.

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

Hardy Annuals

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Man is injured transporting cacti.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

God builds the first lawn mower.

Crazy paving company.

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

'Manure, you say? We always put custard on our rhubarb!'