Garden Humorist Pillows

The only thing Fred hated more than weeds were weeds that made puns.

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

Bad Flower Pick Up Lines

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

Suddenly, cannibalism became the best option.

'Where am I going to bury my bone now that they put paving stones in?'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Humph Punks!'

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

'So what's all this I hear about you installing an interesting water feature in your garden?'

'Daddy,rusty's digging up the neighbour's back yard again!' (a dog digging a hole with an earth digger machine)/

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'Our name is Leylandii and we're the neighbours from Hell!'

Tish Marsh - Grow Your Own Wig Kit.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

"It's the most beautiful flower in the world - needs protecting from birds though!

Leaf Blower Showdown.

'What am I doing? Well, I'd planned on going to the office and goofing off...then I remembered I'm retired.'

"Let's go around the room and say one interesting fact about ourselves."

"How about this round mouth shovel."

"We took care of our leaf problem a long time ago."

"I love the moment when they discover we paid their garden a nocturnal visit."

"I'm allergic to the sun."

Tiny Bird in Bonsai Tree

The bullies are in full bloom

Gilmore Slugs

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

Snail on a cactus.

Phlox

'Fishing garden gnome'

'Dear, I think the plants need watering.'

'This privacy fence doesn't provide much privacy.'

'Moles? Nah - Sheila Hancock keeps popping up everywhere.'

'Look what my son gave me!'

Calling a spade a spade.