Quirky Garden Defender Gifts

Man with bow and arrow trying to shoot moles in his garden

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'The attendant is very good. I tip him the occasional sparrow.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

The Phantom Of The Garden

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

'Ah, now's there's something different....'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

'Where are you going?'

Planting Bird Seed.

Mowing the Bottle-Garden

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"

'You've never forgotten that Elsie Turner, have you George!'

'What on earth made you think of growing water melons in the bath Henry?'

'Every summer, dandelions can't wait to go topless!'

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

Football fan

Bonsai farms: 'We started growing normal trees, but it didn't work out!'

'Anything else need tying up?'

Clown watering his flowers.

'My Dad gave him a parking ticket for standing on his vegetable patch!'

'Those artificial flowers look so lifelike it's unusual.'

Man with a sunflower head watering flowers with human faces.

'I borrowed Timmy's model plane to crop dust the garden.'