Quirky Homekeeper Gifts

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

Beware of the Lawn

Egg Buggy

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

Dog Bookends

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'

Chick Billiard Ball

"Occasionally he lobs a brick at the cat."

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

"How about supper in the tub tonight, Hon?"

A chicken coop with a loudspeaker on the roof

"Ya know, it wouldn’t kill you to bark."

Junk Mail Shredder.

That thing you threw up was only a hairball.

'Problems finding good, affordable housing?'

'Hope I'm not catching you with a bird in the bath, Harold?'

"I decided to buy a tiny house."

A women is testing her House to see if it's Pregnant with a 'Home Pregnancy Test' kit

We have dog spas, dog motels, dog walkers, dog designer clothes...

'He's marvellous in the kitchen. every night he does all the washing up and licks my cooker clean.'

Bert always found plenty of rubbish for his compost bin

"Thought so - you didn't wipe your feet!"

'We don't have a dog but we felt a need to offer a warning anyway.'

'The owners all think the cats love his bedside manner...'

"You'll see, he's not a bad Master, but for some weird reason he insists on my sitting before I cross the road..."

Brushing Under Man's Wig

'I'm sorry we ever had him declawed.'

Cash-For-Soul Shop

Man sits on house.