Quirky Pet Caretaker Gifts

'My chameleon has something wrong with it's leg.'

'Fetch.'

Biofelineism

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

He won't sit, but he heels well.

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

Cat Show

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"Lap fish..."

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

Upper East Side Dog Park

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

Priest with the Pet Devil.

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

'And this is scraps.'

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

'He's an octopussy. They're specially bred to catch over 100 mice an hour.'

Egg Buggy