Quirky Caregiver Gifts

'Expecting a quick and east operation, Doctor?'

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

"We've done everything in this book, and more. There's nothing left."

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

Egg Buggy

'I usually don't make house calls but I'm glad to make an exception in your case, Gran'ma.'

"We're pretty sure it was the dissolving stitches."

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

"9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer."

IV Bags: Main and Afters

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

Obstetrician's office: Innies and Outies.

"Mrs. Jennings, can Billy come out and smoke?"

"Fall prevention!"

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

Administering Dose of Medicine to a Boy

"He's busy exercising the goldfish at the moment.

'Weaning is a bit like a divorce, but mum always gets custody of me.'

'Tests indicate you may be susceptible to the H1-N1 virus'

The "Empty" Nest maxim and misnomer

'To summarise the tariffs, sympathy is £19/day, empathy £27 and obsequy £34.'

Dr. Potato Head

'At least now he sleeps through the night.'

'I was skeptical at first, but it really works.'

'Oh, I see. So, you thought you'd come and pass your nasty germs on to me?!'

"The main problem for you must be the constant itching under you bandages..."

'The owners all think the cats love his bedside manner...'

Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist.

Mother taping childs mouth.