Cheeky Caregiver Gifts

'To summarise the tariffs, sympathy is £19/day, empathy £27 and obsequy £34.'

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

Egg Buggy

Caution. Slippery when wet.

'It's the only way he'll take his medicine.'

Twins

'I usually don't make house calls but I'm glad to make an exception in your case, Gran'ma.'

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

Yummy Mummy

IV Bags: Main and Afters

"Mrs. Jennings, can Billy come out and smoke?"

Grandparents with their grandchild (colour).

"I forget now... am I babysitting you or are you babysitting me?"

Patient

"He's complaining of chest pain, shortness of breath, cramps and dizziness. Do you sell earplugs?"

"Fall prevention!"

Administering Dose of Medicine to a Boy

'If it weren't for diapers, I'd have nothing in common with him.'

Paediatric medicine

'Try to think of it as drip therapy.'

'At least now he sleeps through the night.'

'I'm hoping to get a rise from my boss.'

"The main problem for you must be the constant itching under you bandages..."

'Oh, I see. So, you thought you'd come and pass your nasty germs on to me?!'

Mother taping childs mouth.

'...and these are my two little angels you'll be baby-sitting for tonight...'

'Expecting a quick and east operation, Doctor?'

Hurt Knee