Humorous Caregiver Gifts

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

How's the new one?

"We've done everything in this book, and more. There's nothing left."

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'It's the only way he'll take his medicine.'

'I usually don't make house calls but I'm glad to make an exception in your case, Gran'ma.'

Twins

'Well, Mr. Harris, I'm afraid you simply care too much. You have compassion fatigue.'

"What was the name of that adoption agency?"

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

"We're pretty sure it was the dissolving stitches."

IV Bags: Main and Afters

"I forget now... am I babysitting you or are you babysitting me?"

"Mrs. Jennings, can Billy come out and smoke?"

Patient

"He's complaining of chest pain, shortness of breath, cramps and dizziness. Do you sell earplugs?"

Administering Dose of Medicine to a Boy

'If it weren't for diapers, I'd have nothing in common with him.'

Paediatric medicine

'Try to think of it as drip therapy.'

"My dad works in surveillance."

The "Empty" Nest maxim and misnomer

'Weaning is a bit like a divorce, but mum always gets custody of me.'

'To summarise the tariffs, sympathy is £19/day, empathy £27 and obsequy £34.'

"The main problem for you must be the constant itching under you bandages..."

'Oh, I see. So, you thought you'd come and pass your nasty germs on to me?!'

'...and these are my two little angels you'll be baby-sitting for tonight...'

Nurse draws on patient's cast