Caregiver Humor Gifts

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

'...and these are my two little angels you'll be baby-sitting for tonight...'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

"I don't leave home without it!"

How's the new one?

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

'Well, Mr. Harris, I'm afraid you simply care too much. You have compassion fatigue.'

Just Browsing.

"He's our newest partner, we can't afford to be as selective as we used to be."

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I'm referring you to a doctor with better attorneys.'

'And out hospital has rooms...lots of rooms, and some beds, and we've got stairs.'

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

IV Bags: Main and Afters

'I see a VERY important note from your doctor. Unfortunately, I can't read her handwriting.'

'These are from my attorneys for malpractice suit.'

"Do you have someone to drive you home after your surgery? My car's in the shop and I could really use a ride."

"It's the online blood bank. Do we want to continue shopping?"

"Are you in there, Mr Elkins?"

"Thanks for reminding me, doc! I just forgot that I've got Alzheimer's!"

"His last words were 'Yodel-ay-he-hoo.'"

Is there anyone here from 'customer care'? Could you tell them I'll ring back as soon as I've got my new kidney in!

'So for the record...age you admitting that there are circumstances in which you would not demand an MRI scan for a child with a sniffle for purely budgetary reasons!'