Caregiver Humor Gifts

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

'...and these are my two little angels you'll be baby-sitting for tonight...'

"What was the name of that adoption agency?"

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

'Doorbell. Must be the sitter.'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

"I don't leave home without it!"

How's the new one?

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"I didn't say he's dying from choking. I said he's killing us with his joking."

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

'Well, Mr. Harris, I'm afraid you simply care too much. You have compassion fatigue.'

Just Browsing.

"I've developed a sporting way to administer the flu shot."

'I'm referring you to a doctor with better attorneys.'

"He's our newest partner, we can't afford to be as selective as we used to be."

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

'And out hospital has rooms...lots of rooms, and some beds, and we've got stairs.'

"Do you have someone to drive you home after your surgery? My car's in the shop and I could really use a ride."

"It's the online blood bank. Do we want to continue shopping?"

Is there anyone here from 'customer care'? Could you tell them I'll ring back as soon as I've got my new kidney in!

'I see a VERY important note from your doctor. Unfortunately, I can't read her handwriting.'

"His last words were 'Yodel-ay-he-hoo.'"

'So for the record...age you admitting that there are circumstances in which you would not demand an MRI scan for a child with a sniffle for purely budgetary reasons!'

"Are you in there, Mr Elkins?"