Caregiver With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

"Since you're going shopping, I've made a little list of a few things I need. . ."

Patient

"I forget now... am I babysitting you or are you babysitting me?"

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

How's the new one?

"We've done everything in this book, and more. There's nothing left."

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

"I know you're always taking care of everyone else, but you need to take care of yourself, too. Also, I need my stethoscope back."

'It's the only way he'll take his medicine.'

Twins

'I usually don't make house calls but I'm glad to make an exception in your case, Gran'ma.'

'Well, Mr. Harris, I'm afraid you simply care too much. You have compassion fatigue.'

'Sometimes patients become a little attached.'

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

"What was the name of that adoption agency?"

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"You've got a lousy bedside manner"

"Let's not talk about your diagnosis. It depresses me too much."

'You play the nurse and I'll play God.'

IV Bags: Main and Afters

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

"He's complaining of chest pain, shortness of breath, cramps and dizziness. Do you sell earplugs?"

"Fall prevention!"

Administering Dose of Medicine to a Boy

Paediatric medicine

'Try to think of it as drip therapy.'

'Yes, I suppose it's worth a try - after all we have nothing to lose.'

'If it weren't for diapers, I'd have nothing in common with him.'

'Sorry, we don't know as much as we'd like to about warming a stethoscope.'

"He won't wear the sweater I crocheted for him."

'To summarise the tariffs, sympathy is £19/day, empathy £27 and obsequy £34.'