Caregiver Chuckles Gifts

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

"We've done everything in this book, and more. There's nothing left."

How's the new one?

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'It's the only way he'll take his medicine.'

'I usually don't make house calls but I'm glad to make an exception in your case, Gran'ma.'

'Well, Mr. Harris, I'm afraid you simply care too much. You have compassion fatigue.'

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

"What was the name of that adoption agency?"

IV Bags: Main and Afters

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

"Mrs. Jennings, can Billy come out and smoke?"

"I forget now... am I babysitting you or are you babysitting me?"

Patient

"He's complaining of chest pain, shortness of breath, cramps and dizziness. Do you sell earplugs?"

"Fall prevention!"

Administering Dose of Medicine to a Boy

'Try to think of it as drip therapy.'

'If it weren't for diapers, I'd have nothing in common with him.'

Paediatric medicine

'To summarise the tariffs, sympathy is £19/day, empathy £27 and obsequy £34.'

'At least now he sleeps through the night.'

'Oh, I see. So, you thought you'd come and pass your nasty germs on to me?!'

'Where should I put the dirty bed linen?' 'On the beds.'

"The main problem for you must be the constant itching under you bandages..."

Mother taping childs mouth.

'...and these are my two little angels you'll be baby-sitting for tonight...'

'I want my mommy.'