Comical Caregiver Gifts

'Oh, I see. So, you thought you'd come and pass your nasty germs on to me?!'

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

How's the new one?

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

Jelly I.V.

'It's the only way he'll take his medicine.'

'I usually don't make house calls but I'm glad to make an exception in your case, Gran'ma.'

'Well, Mr. Harris, I'm afraid you simply care too much. You have compassion fatigue.'

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

"We're pretty sure it was the dissolving stitches."

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

"I'm training him to do chores."

IV Bags: Main and Afters

Patient

"I forget now... am I babysitting you or are you babysitting me?"

"Mrs. Jennings, can Billy come out and smoke?"

Administering Dose of Medicine to a Boy

"He's busy exercising the goldfish at the moment.

'Try to think of it as drip therapy.'

"My dad works in surveillance."

'If it weren't for diapers, I'd have nothing in common with him.'

The "Empty" Nest maxim and misnomer

'To summarise the tariffs, sympathy is £19/day, empathy £27 and obsequy £34.'

'Weaning is a bit like a divorce, but mum always gets custody of me.'

"The main problem for you must be the constant itching under you bandages..."

'...and these are my two little angels you'll be baby-sitting for tonight...'

Nurse draws on patient's cast

'Expecting a quick and east operation, Doctor?'