Comical Caregiver Gifts

'Oh, I see. So, you thought you'd come and pass your nasty germs on to me?!'

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

"We've done everything in this book, and more. There's nothing left."

How's the new one?

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

Jelly I.V.

'It's the only way he'll take his medicine.'

'I usually don't make house calls but I'm glad to make an exception in your case, Gran'ma.'

'Well, Mr. Harris, I'm afraid you simply care too much. You have compassion fatigue.'

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

"We're pretty sure it was the dissolving stitches."

"What was the name of that adoption agency?"

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

"I'm training him to do chores."

IV Bags: Main and Afters

"I forget now... am I babysitting you or are you babysitting me?"

Patient

"Mrs. Jennings, can Billy come out and smoke?"

Administering Dose of Medicine to a Boy

"My dad works in surveillance."

"He's busy exercising the goldfish at the moment.

'Try to think of it as drip therapy.'

'If it weren't for diapers, I'd have nothing in common with him.'

'Weaning is a bit like a divorce, but mum always gets custody of me.'

'To summarise the tariffs, sympathy is £19/day, empathy £27 and obsequy £34.'

The "Empty" Nest maxim and misnomer

"The main problem for you must be the constant itching under you bandages..."

Nurse draws on patient's cast

'...and these are my two little angels you'll be baby-sitting for tonight...'