Caregiver Chuckle Gifts

"The main problem for you must be the constant itching under you bandages..."

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

How's the new one?

"We've done everything in this book, and more. There's nothing left."

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'It's the only way he'll take his medicine.'

Twins

'I usually don't make house calls but I'm glad to make an exception in your case, Gran'ma.'

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

'Well, Mr. Harris, I'm afraid you simply care too much. You have compassion fatigue.'

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

"What was the name of that adoption agency?"

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

IV Bags: Main and Afters

"Mrs. Jennings, can Billy come out and smoke?"

"I forget now... am I babysitting you or are you babysitting me?"

Patient

"He's complaining of chest pain, shortness of breath, cramps and dizziness. Do you sell earplugs?"

"Fall prevention!"

Administering Dose of Medicine to a Boy

'Try to think of it as drip therapy.'

'If it weren't for diapers, I'd have nothing in common with him.'

Paediatric medicine

'To summarise the tariffs, sympathy is £19/day, empathy £27 and obsequy £34.'

'You have the new disease that terrifies the medical community... It's cure is easy and cheap.'

'At least now he sleeps through the night.'

'Oh, I see. So, you thought you'd come and pass your nasty germs on to me?!'

Mother taping childs mouth.

'I want my mommy.'

'...and these are my two little angels you'll be baby-sitting for tonight...'