Golf Course Maintenance Gifts

"Oh, I'm not technically a greenskeeper: I'm the bunker specialist..."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

The Golfing Accident

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

"There goes the merger between Brigg's corporation and Ludlow industries!"

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"Instead of eggs, you're going to look after the lost balls in the water hazards."

'No, you can't win it. But if you can figure out how to get my wife's car off the lake, I'd appreciate it.'

In case he wore pants that weren't gaudy enough for golf, Len kept some cans of spray paint in his bag.

"I can't tell if Ed is taking a long time to line up his shot... Or if he fell asleep again!"

'The other one, Vince! Grab the other one! He's got a Rolex!'

'On this hole you don't drive, just putt.'

Danger! Litigators, retrieve golf balls at your own risk.

"What have you done?"

'I thought we'd get a merger agreement, so I arranged for our accountant teams to be on hand.'

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

'How many shots did you have at the 19th hole?'

"Just give me a minute, Mr. Vice-President, and I'll try to explain the difference between contributions to the Nature Conservancy and greens fees."

"Judging by your tan I can see you play golf too."

Methuselah shoots his age.

Mole living in golf hole.

The Disadvantage of Easier Golf Courses

'Tell me the truth,Rodney - you've moved the hole haven't you!'

Things get heated at the outing.

'Bobby, I'll need the 12 gauge for this shot.'

"Perhaps we can arrive a a mutually beneficial arrangement?"

Golfers! Do not walk on this fairway! Crawl on your belly like a lizard.

'Oh what's the use? You don't know the course.'

"Ooooohhhh, that feels so good. Now, down and a little to the right, please."

Who Designed This Course?

"The king of divots, every game is played like the last."

STRIP Old Caddy (colour)

"What do you think kid, saw or axe?"

Golfer chased by tiger yells, 'Tiger! Woods! Tiger! Woods!'

Thanks for the order, JB. Now, how about another game for real?