Golf Course Critic Gifts

'On this hole you don't drive, just putt.'

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

The Golfing Accident

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"There goes the merger between Brigg's corporation and Ludlow industries!"

'I'm doing this course on, the importance of moderation.'

"I can't tell if Ed is taking a long time to line up his shot... Or if he fell asleep again!"

Methuselah shoots his age.

'Tell me the truth,Rodney - you've moved the hole haven't you!'

'I am so very frustrated! I know it's hard for you to understand, but you don't know the golf course.'

'Have I told you that sometimes I become furious, that I've got a previous conviction for bodily harm and that I hate to lose?'

'Oh what's the use? You don't know the course.'

'Bobby, I'll need the 12 gauge for this shot.'

"Perhaps we can arrive a a mutually beneficial arrangement?"

Golfer Hits Frog.

Who Designed This Course?

'No money. I just want that hysterical outfit you're wearing.'

"The king of divots, every game is played like the last."

"If he was holding up play, we'd call it 'justified homicide'"

The Educated Golfer or The Instinctive Golfer

"Too much beige."

If golfers were honest with themselves.

'What a divot.'

"Forget that ball caddie, there's another just like it up here that I can tap in...."

"I told you it was a rough course to play."

Golfer chased by tiger yells, 'Tiger! Woods! Tiger! Woods!'

"What do you think kid, saw or axe?"

STRIP Old Caddy (colour)

'Let him play thru, Harry.'

'I said sand wedge.'

I tossed a coin to decide between playing golf or going to work. I had to toss the coin four times.

"I had you doing six in a five."

"Otherwise it's just same ol', same ol'."