Race Track Official Gifts

'Best let them know there's a couple of loose horses at the fourth!'

Pole Vault Rules

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

'Do you think he'll win the second race?'

'I like the look of that Trojan Boy.'

'Some people are betting all their savings on me... I can't handle the pressure anymore...'

'Your wife borrowed the car.'

'So you've won a few races: I still don't think you need worry about the paparazzi!'

The steeple-chase. Man reads a sign stating that no horseman is allowed to follow the racehorses over the course.

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

Competitive Horse at the Racetracks.

"It's not my fault that you forgot your hearing aid!"

How's your job at the stables? -I'd better dash my work is piling up!

'Knock if off, O'Reilly. You are herewith officially charged with bringing racing into disrepute.'

Itchy Butt 50

'I know it's safe... but it is still the last time I let you buy the car.'

Upon review of the finish photo, race officials discovered cheating on the part of Turf King.

Using a runner to pull a tooth.

Various sporting officials think to themselves: '4 years at West Point for this'...'5 years at MIT for this'...'6 years at Julliard for this.'

Back seat race car drivers.

'Come on, let me win today: It's my jockey's birthday!'

'It gives me great pleasure in presenting you with the jockey of the year award.'

Finishing Line

Runner lighting rocket on his back.

Frank Williams RIP

"I hope the rest of the races are more exciting."

Race Starter stuck to whell of racing car

Each Way Bet

"I think if we changed just one small thing about Teabiscuit, he could become one of the greatest horses ever."

'Just stopped off for a few things along the way!'

'He started it.'

'Look Gloria its the Shetland Grand National!'

Great Attraction - Derby Racecourse.

Total corruption