Motor Racing Official Gifts

'He started it.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

Egyptian Football

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

The Unsportables: Javelin Throw

'We'll have you practising in a milk float in no time!'

Smile

Pole Vault Rules

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'I finished last, but I was the only one who passed the drug test.'

'Are referees black with white stripes or white with black stripes?'

'Now what?!'

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

"Emergency exits are located on both sides of the cabin...."

College of Referee Training: 'Congratulations, you failed your eye test abysmally!'

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

'Are you blind ref?'

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'No wonder it was so hard to assemble. I thought it was supposed to be a basketball hoop, not a weapon of mass destruction.'

'I should never have married a bloody referee.'

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

Tennis corruption

Referees at the Original Olympics.

Footballer playing for time

'That was a peach of a right hander the referee gave you!'

'He lost his whistle,'

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.