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'He started it.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

Egyptian Football

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

The Unsportables: Javelin Throw

'We'll have you practising in a milk float in no time!'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

Smile

'I finished last, but I was the only one who passed the drug test.'

'Now what?!'

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

'Are you blind ref?'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

"Emergency exits are located on both sides of the cabin...."

College of Referee Training: 'Congratulations, you failed your eye test abysmally!'

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'I should never have married a bloody referee.'

'No wonder it was so hard to assemble. I thought it was supposed to be a basketball hoop, not a weapon of mass destruction.'

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

Footballer playing for time

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

Red Card - Gold Card.

'...60, 80 - whoa! - a hundred bucks! Okaaaay, you've got 20 minutes.'

Referees at the Original Olympics.