Race Track Regular Gifts

Competitive Horse at the Racetracks.

The steeple-chase. Man reads a sign stating that no horseman is allowed to follow the racehorses over the course.

'Look Gloria its the Shetland Grand National!'

'I like the look of that Trojan Boy.'

'It gives me great pleasure in presenting you with the jockey of the year award.'

Back seat race car drivers.

'Your wife borrowed the car.'

'Come on, let me win today: It's my jockey's birthday!'

'Fiver on the rabbit, please.'

'So you've won a few races: I still don't think you need worry about the paparazzi!'

"I hope the rest of the races are more exciting."

Disraeli's Reform Bill Passes the Committee Stage

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

'I'm racing him in the 4.30.'

Record department with rock, crossover and classical sections.

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

'Do you think he'll win the second race?'

'You're away, Doc!'

'I love Brahms' 2nd Symphony in A minor, especially the part where it pauses and the voice says, 'Please hold for the next available broker'.'

I don't like the look of that fish! Can I help it if it had ugly parents?

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

'Lost again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

It's very quick and looks great in speed camera photos.

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

"Excuse me, but you're standing in the way of progressive."

The Disadvantage of Easier Golf Courses

'Knock if off, O'Reilly. You are herewith officially charged with bringing racing into disrepute.'

Itchy Butt 50

'I know it's safe... but it is still the last time I let you buy the car.'

"I prefer his later stuff"

Upon review of the finish photo, race officials discovered cheating on the part of Turf King.

A typical Newcastle fan.

'Best let them know there's a couple of loose horses at the fourth!'

"How old were you before you discovered our football song wasn't the national anthem?"

"What sports fan are you?"