Racecourse Regular Gifts

"I never had a moments doubt."

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

'Beaten by a nose!'

-Sorry, I was ill yesterday -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the 5th leg!

'Honey, as CFO of our company your presence at the track 3 afternoons a week is hardly conducive to a sound corporate image!'

'Lost again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

"Told you it was my lucky day, I only lost £30."

"I like the look of this steamer in the 2.30."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Disraeli's Reform Bill Passes the Committee Stage

'I'm racing him in the 4.30.'

'Do you think he'll win the second race?'

'You're away, Doc!'

'I like the look of that Trojan Boy.'

'Can I get a Chardonnay over dry ice? I hate it when my wine gets wet.'

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

"The Hare's demanding a dope test !"

Cheapskate b*****d told me he'd laid on a box for me to watch the races.

"Relax and enjoy the game! Relax and enjoy the game!..."

'So you've won a few races: I still don't think you need worry about the paparazzi!'

'Your wife borrowed the car.'

I don't like the look of that fish! Can I help it if it had ugly parents?

The steeple-chase. Man reads a sign stating that no horseman is allowed to follow the racehorses over the course.

"I haven't seen you in church lately, Mr. Smedly..."

Competitive Horse at the Racetracks.

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

With Running Lanes/Without Running Lanes

Itchy Butt 50

"...and those are cheese and cucumber..."

The Disadvantage of Easier Golf Courses

"They're passing a plate? Great, I'm starved!"

Runner with a kick-starter.

Man protecting himself from potential golfballs

'Maybe you're sitting on the wrong end.'