Market Regular Gifts

I don't like the look of that fish! Can I help it if it had ugly parents?

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'No ice.'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Rump roast?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

I wish I'd had the review.

'The beef has been genetically modified to make it taste like a more expensive cut.'

"And would you like flies with that?"

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

"I forget to drink."

Don't go out in the rain without an umbrella....was probably not 'his idea' of a tip, dear!'

"Just water for me, please."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'