Retail Regular Gifts

"Personally, I think it should read 'next misery guts'."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Larry's used art

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Cut Price

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'No ice.'

'She's so put together!'

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"Rump roast?"

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

A women in a shoeshop.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"