Retail Regular Gifts

"Personally, I think it should read 'next misery guts'."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Larry's used art

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'No ice.'

Cut Price

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'She's so put together!'

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

A women in a shoeshop.

"Rump roast?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"I shop, therefore I am."