Computer Store Regular Gifts

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Rump roast?"

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

I wish I'd had the review.

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"And would you like flies with that?"

'The beef has been genetically modified to make it taste like a more expensive cut.'

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

Prawn Cocktail Please

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Don't go out in the rain without an umbrella....was probably not 'his idea' of a tip, dear!'

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'