Retail Gifts

"Have you ever tried buying lots of stuff?"

"We've talked it over and we've decided that you must not really be a customer."

Temporarily closed to rethink our concept.

The delicate balance of supply and demand

Consumer Complaints.

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

'I don't know Joe, maybe we;re using the wrong kind of glass?'

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Serious Competition: Thingymajigs vs Watchamacallits.

'That's your big marketing plan?'

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

Customer Services - Ten complaints or less.

'We could see the product for $14.95 but we're working to get it up to $49.99.'

Complaints and Excuses.

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

The Information Barn: Everything You Wanted To Know At Rock Bottom Prices

Shopper with overloaded cart.

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

Coming Soon: Another place to buy stuff!

"Of course I don't have your shoes...you told me you wanted them re-sold."

'It has everything... I love it!'

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

"How many customers did you get today?"

The Off-line Store

Crazy Ed's Warehouse - body in freezer - "Nobody beats our prices and gets away with it."

"...between a medium and a large - I like to call it 'Marge'."

Business people buying greeting cards.

'Four of these have to go.'

Black Friday

Boss: '...Let's not forget who our customers are!' (It turns out they just have one left).

Bob's Heart Valves 'N' Stuff (store is open)

"Costco."

Staff Picks

Complaints (high up)