Retail Prints

"Have you ever tried buying lots of stuff?"

"We've talked it over and we've decided that you must not really be a customer."

Temporarily closed to rethink our concept.

Consumer Complaints.

The delicate balance of supply and demand

'I don't know Joe, maybe we;re using the wrong kind of glass?'

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Serious Competition: Thingymajigs vs Watchamacallits.

'That's your big marketing plan?'

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

Customer Services - Ten complaints or less.

'We could see the product for $14.95 but we're working to get it up to $49.99.'

Complaints and Excuses.

The Information Barn: Everything You Wanted To Know At Rock Bottom Prices

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

Coming Soon: Another place to buy stuff!

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

"Of course I don't have your shoes...you told me you wanted them re-sold."

'It has everything... I love it!'

The Off-line Store

"How many customers did you get today?"

Crazy Ed's Warehouse - body in freezer - "Nobody beats our prices and gets away with it."

Boss: '...Let's not forget who our customers are!' (It turns out they just have one left).

Business people buying greeting cards.

'Four of these have to go.'

Black Friday

"...between a medium and a large - I like to call it 'Marge'."

Complaints (high up)

"Costco."

Staff Picks

Bob's Heart Valves 'N' Stuff (store is open)

"Yeah, but the 'Made In China' labels are made in America."