Retail Shopping Gifts

Super Homeworld

'You mean - this ISN'T the men's fitting room at Marks and Sparks??'

Price check on (barcode)!

'No thanks, just looking.'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

'Do you have any duck tape?'

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

Corner Bakery ... Bread and Breakfast.

Post Brexit food shortages start to bite

the spitting cactus...

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Larry's used art

Killer Executive Suits.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'What do you do with the time you save?'