Shopping Gifts

"Do we have time for this?"

Loaves and Fishes - Buy 2 get 5000.

"Have you ever tried buying lots of stuff?"

"It doesn't matter what you like - according to the demographics, this is the car for you."

"Main floor, aisle six, ladies' scarves. Shopper down."

"I'm just concerned that we're forgetting the true meaning of Cyber Monday."

"You know your dog better than I do."

"Surprise! It's my birthday."

"Fill out this survey and tell us how great we are and Randy won't follow you home."

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

"Anything to declare, aside from personal bankruptcy?"

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

The struggle between good and luxury good.

"Thanks, hon. Big help as always."

Suddenly John realized he didn't want paper or plastic, He wanted something new,,, something fantastic,

"You know what I think – if the shoe exists, buy it."

"By the authority vested in me by Bloomingdale's, how may I help you?"

"I hate camping, but I love shopping at L.L. Bean."

"Eww! -- Is that the only color bandage you have?"

"We can't agree on a size."

"Packaging waste is bad for the environment. That's why we're selling canned soup without cans."

"Aren't you glad we stayed in? I had time to order us some more sweatpants."

"I'm also returning these Ivanka Trump brand clothes. They chafe my morals."

"How are you fixed for oats?"

"Oh, it's the best thing since small-batch, artisanal, unsliced bread."

"Slow down, I want to take a peek in Barneys!"

One size fits all store.

Bacteria Special Offer

Sign reads: Customer service - Ring bell to be noticed.

"You've increased your prices again! Why?" "Take your pick..."

"I'm getting the fire-breathing dragon with wings. He wanted $200, but I talked him down to fifty bucks."

Directory: You are here. You should be here.

'That? That's a store, hon. In the olden days people would buy things in stores instead of online.'

"The sign said buy one, get one free. But I only needed one. The free one."

One Size Fits All.