Shopping T-Shirts

"Do we have time for this?"

Loaves and Fishes - Buy 2 get 5000.

"Have you ever tried buying lots of stuff?"

"Main floor, aisle six, ladies' scarves. Shopper down."

"It doesn't matter what you like - according to the demographics, this is the car for you."

"I'm just concerned that we're forgetting the true meaning of Cyber Monday."

"You know your dog better than I do."

"Surprise! It's my birthday."

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

"Fill out this survey and tell us how great we are and Randy won't follow you home."

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

"Anything to declare, aside from personal bankruptcy?"

The struggle between good and luxury good.

Suddenly John realized he didn't want paper or plastic, He wanted something new,,, something fantastic,

"Thanks, hon. Big help as always."

"You know what I think – if the shoe exists, buy it."

"By the authority vested in me by Bloomingdale's, how may I help you?"

"I hate camping, but I love shopping at L.L. Bean."

"Packaging waste is bad for the environment. That's why we're selling canned soup without cans."

"Aren't you glad we stayed in? I had time to order us some more sweatpants."

"We can't agree on a size."

"Eww! -- Is that the only color bandage you have?"

"Slow down, I want to take a peek in Barneys!"

"How are you fixed for oats?"

"I'm also returning these Ivanka Trump brand clothes. They chafe my morals."

"Oh, it's the best thing since small-batch, artisanal, unsliced bread."

One size fits all store.

Bacteria Special Offer

Sign reads: Customer service - Ring bell to be noticed.

"You've increased your prices again! Why?" "Take your pick..."

"I'm getting the fire-breathing dragon with wings. He wanted $200, but I talked him down to fifty bucks."

Directory: You are here. You should be here.

'That? That's a store, hon. In the olden days people would buy things in stores instead of online.'

"The sign said buy one, get one free. But I only needed one. The free one."

One Size Fits All.