Clothing Shopping T-Shirts

'Neck a little tight, sir?'

"I want my back-to-school clothes to be stylish yet practical...comfortable yet rugged...something that says Gracie Bermudez!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Killer Executive Suits.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Toadstools

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

Cut Price

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

Bad for you but to die for