Shopping For New Clothes T-Shirts

'You'll like this suit. The vest is edible.'

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

"Go with the horizontal stripes. It'll make me look thinner when I stand next to you."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

'Pink isn't EITHER the new black!'

Notice: this dress will be out of style by January 2009.

Penguin suit fitting.

Man and woman buying furniture.

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

How would Madam like to pay?

Den Furniture

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

"It's also a flat-bed scanner."

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

'Do you have it in black?'

'He left me McDonald's coupon's for a tip.'

A tailor measuring a large man

Sketches by Boz - Monmouth Street

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

"My husband said, 'We were getting low' on the essentials!"

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

"Would you like your real size or one that artificially inflates your ego?"

'Now THAT'S what I call a love seat!'

'And the 'World's Greatest Boss' mug comes with the desk.'

Ikea for Hippies

"Buy them - and never look back."

"Relax, I'm coming for the suit."