Clothing Shopping Gifts

'Neck a little tight, sir?'

"I want my back-to-school clothes to be stylish yet practical...comfortable yet rugged...something that says Gracie Bermudez!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Killer Executive Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Cat woman shopping for cats.

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Cut Price

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Toadstools

'What do you do with the time you save?'