Cafe Regular Gifts

Next to coffee machine is machine offering 'Your 2c worth'.

"Passwords? I use the different names I'm called at Starbucks."

"I look forward to coming here for great tasting coffee. Every morning. . . but you are talking so loud I can't even smell it!"

"I go here all the time."

"I became a vegetarian just to annoy people."

'There's no mistake - the soup of the day is also Employee of the month!'

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

'What's for lunch? No, don't tell me, vegetables.'

Once a year in the spring, Randy 'The Rock' Taylor, the cafe's stoic love stud, experiences deep emotion. He does't want the world to know or acknowledge it's depth.

"The natives are restless."

"Moist towelette to cleanse your palate?"

The creature of habit

Awning for Customer Use Only

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Do you have any catsup?'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'No ice.'

"Rump roast?"

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

Today's special... donuts.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"