Cafe Regular Gifts

Next to coffee machine is machine offering 'Your 2c worth'.

"Passwords? I use the different names I'm called at Starbucks."

The male of the species approaches the cafe counter. What's that, Mr. Pinkerton? Careful not to disturb those around him, the male scans his surroundings. His senses, his vision and his sense of smell have been honed by years of evolution and survival. Sniiif! At last, the male makes his move! He orders one slice of rhubarb pie, a la mode! You want pie? Suddenly, he is alerted to danger. The male seeks refuge behind a petunia! … but is it too late? No pie for him. The male will have a salad. The

"I look forward to coming here for great tasting coffee. Every morning. . . but you are talking so loud I can't even smell it!"

"I go here all the time."

"I became a vegetarian just to annoy people."

'There's no mistake - the soup of the day is also Employee of the month!'

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

'What's for lunch? No, don't tell me, vegetables.'

Once a year in the spring, Randy 'The Rock' Taylor, the cafe's stoic love stud, experiences deep emotion. He does't want the world to know or acknowledge it's depth.

"The natives are restless."

"Moist towelette to cleanse your palate?"

I'm Cort Lark with American Families Against Inter-Species Smooching. We are urging a boycott of Rudy Park and the cafe where this foul comic feature takes place. There is a pet monkey who hands out here and who has been cuddly with a woman! Not who, dear. That has been cuddly with a woman. We take our pronouns very seriously AFAISS.

I can't wait to stop staying away from it all and start getting away from ti all.

Experiment over. Your Uncle Mort's back on caffeine. Already? There are forces more powerful than his willpower. Addiction. Business. If Mort doesn't drink coffee that means he's not buying his usual four lattes. That's it. Drink up. This one's free. Thank you pusher.

I've been brought in to negotiate a settlement between you two. It's in the interest of this caf

Quadruple espresso. Sorry, Uncle Mort. I'm gonna have to cut you off. I'm old! I can drink as much as I want, whenever I want! You think I got this old without knowing what I can and can't handle? Sorry. See?! I told you I -- Zzz. A barista should always follow his instincts

I have to admit, I enjoyed that fruity concoction you convinced me to try. In light of that, I will extend to you a brief respite from my usually relentless attacks upon your character.

The creature of habit

A New Home for the Tinfoil Hat

Awning for Customer Use Only

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

'Do you have any catsup?'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'No ice.'

"Rump roast?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"